Tip the veal, try your waitress.


In case you didn't already guess, this blog is about gratuity, tipping, alms for the poor, whatever you want to call leaving money for a food service professional. As a proud waiter/bartender I feel the need to educate the ignorant masses in the art of leaving a proper gratuity.


Let's start off at the bar. Provided you are not a regular at the establishment you are in tipping at a bar is pretty easy. A safe bet is to leave a dollar or two for each drink brought to you (we'll say a buck for beer, two bucks for mixed drinks) Feel free to let the dollars accumulate in front of where you are a sitting, a polite bartender will not pick up any cash until you leave. Now, when you decide to leave you must leave a tip for the time you spent there. Never less than five and you should adjust for how long you spent occupying a seat. Let's say you and your significant other come see me at beautiful place where I work(there is an advertising deal in the works until then I shan't use my employers name). You consume four beers and your significant other has 2 martinis over the course of one hour. You should leave 6-8 bucks of the drinks and at least another five for the time I had to spend enlightening your live with witty shit you would never have thought up on your own. If you are a regular somewhere tip over the amounts I have stated or you will be talked about behind your back and we will give you the skunky batches of beer and shittiest liquor imaginable.

Now while eating at a table tipping etiquette is far simpler. A flat 20% will just fine. Now I hear you all saying "what about double the tax?" This is fine for small checks (under $150) once you start getting into the $200 plus are 20% is what is expected. As always please feel free to leave more if you feel the service is exceptional. Remember I live off of your generosity.