Belligerent musings on pop culture, philosophy and relationships

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

This is my first blog. I have joined an elite group of people that I think should be wiped off the face of the year. Yes dear reader, I think bloggers belong in the same mass grave as religious conservatives, the starting line up of the 1993 Chicago Bulls, people who own Nextel cell phones, girls who say "kisses" when parting company with someone and most children. This is self loathing at its finest. What I hope to accomplish with this internet forum is simple, I hope you get depressed enough from my nihilistic and misanthropic ramblings that you kill yourself, thus preserving more food, air, lanes on the parkway, bandwidth and various other essential commodities for my self and loved ones (who's number is ever diminishing) If you think you know maybe you can learn something new about the inner workings of my "soon-to-be-lobotomized-by-drugs-and alcohol" brain. If you don't know hopefully this blog will convince you to never learn more about me. Fair Warning: I plan on discussing a variety of topics (relationships, substance abuse, music, movies, literature, TV, philosophy, and sports) I will be using some rather salty language and if that offends you I have one small piece of advice: Get in a nice warm tub and throw in the nearest plugged in appliance, censorship is for weenies.

Today's internet post is about....the internet! While surfing the internet I came upon an adult website. Now when I say adults only I thought it we be about boring adult things: preparing an income tax statement, procuring car insurance, balancing a check book, visiting in-laws. Lo and behold this site featured barely legal Asian teens getting fisted. Now this in not my cup of tea (I prefer straight up guy on girl with a little degradation like spitting into the open mouth of your partner, chocking, slapping, hair pulling and donkey punches) but I noticed a side bar advertising horny girls in my hometown. It appears 3browneyesQT of Bellmore NY was hot for some deep dicking action. Since I had no plans for the next few minutes I decided to click on the link and hopefully find some contact info for this little local nympho. I was then sent to another adult page featuring horny lesbians living in the same home with a taste for ass to ass dildoing. There was no mention of 3browneyesQT. Obviously the internets were broken. I quikly hit the back button and returned to the previous page. There was the picture of 3browneyes but she had a different name. Now she was sexkitten69. Something was amiss. This little tramp was playing with my emotions. I clicked on the link again hoping some go getter internet geek fixed the problem and continued on my quest for some easy internet slut lovin'. Again I was redirected to the page of these very attractive girls who seemed to have no other responsibilities other than sun bathing, sex toy shopping and tawdry lesbian sex. I at least hoped to find an e-mail address for this very elusive tart so I could tell her it was over, please never try to contact me again. After thoroughly probing the lesbo-dildo site I came up empty handed. I returned to the previous page and found pictures of new girls who's name would probably change with each mouse click and decided my time was better spent writing this blog. Boy was I wrong.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Brian said...

I think the scariest thing is that the internets knows where you live.

5:56 AM

 
Blogger Charged by the System said...

This will be great if you actually remain consistent with it.

5:22 PM

 
Blogger liss88 said...

clever my dear pop tart. very clever indeed. something as artistic as your mind shouldnt get pilfered on crass descriptions. (altough grotesquely unrefined and awesome for scenery and mood)... your more intellectual ascertations are much more valuable. g/l with the kid daddy-o

7:00 PM

 
Blogger yourblogsucks said...

hey whats up- 3browneyeqt here- heard you live in the seaford wantagh area- wanna meet up and have dirty sex?

2:48 PM

 

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